Why these women have never had a partner

Anna-Nicole Del-Re considers herself a "relationship virgin".

The 40-year-old writer from Perth has never had anyone to call boyfriend, but it's not from lack of trying.

Anna-Nicole put a lot of time into meeting men, especially on dating apps.

It was dismal. And at 35, she decided to call it quits.

"I thought, I've been chasing something that's not actually me for so long.

"I am a person who is single at heart."

ABC podcast Ladies, We Need to Talk spoke with Anna-Nicole and two other women about their experiences of never having a partner — not by choice — and what that's like when you wish you did.

I love my own company

Anna-Nicole Del-Re, 40, Perth/Boorloo

Anna-Nicole is from an Italian family where many of her cousins were getting hitched in their 20s. Meanwhile, she was busy being a veteran bridesmaid.

There have been crushes and dates, just never a romantic partner. And at times, Anna-Nicole says that hurts.

"Christmas is hard because you see couples with the matching PJs.

"I know it's all cringe, but you just kind of think, oh, I've never had that, I have never had someone that I wake up next to on Christmas Day."

Despite putting herself out there, Anna-Nicole says the dating apps were a perpetual disappointment.

She wanted a man who could be a husband and a father to her hypothetical children, and men were either not interested in anything serious, or there was zero chemistry.

A turning point was reading Single at Heart by Bella DePaolo.

"Now that I can see that I'm not going to be a mother, I think that changes the picture for me.

"I deep down have always loved my own company. I sometimes can't even picture someone sharing my space. I love my apartment so much because I've created it for me."

Anna-Nicole hasn't ruled out romantic love, but says any future partner would have to add something to her life to make the cut.

"I relish a lot of what I've created for myself … and I think that should be celebrated more."

I get matches if I don't show my wheelchair

Peta Hooke, 35, Melbourne/Naarm

Peta has cerebral palsy and has a podcast called I Can't Stand.

She's never been in a relationship, and like Anna-Nicole, has invested a lot of energy into dating apps.

"Photos that I put on my profile directly relate to the result that I get," says Peta.

"I have always genuinely put up photos of myself in my wheelchair, and I either get no matches for weeks and weeks and weeks, or I get really icky messages."

Peta says she lives a busy and fulfilling life. She has a speedboat licence, many friends, and loves to travel overseas.

"The thing I'm most proud of is my circle of friends.

"I think when you're an only child you're very aware that if you're not active in your friendships, you're going be very lonely. So I have a wide, wide circle of friends, and I have lots of male friends too."

She suspected from a young age dating would be harder for her.

"I would watch other people [at school] flirt. And to be really frank, I flirted as well. I'm a real flirt.

"I constantly fell in love with the lovely gay guy at high school. I was attracted to that sort of soft, genuine person."

The closest Peta came to experiencing real love was during a holiday in Spain with a local.

"He was just so lovely and warm and kind and pulled the chair out to sit at the table without me having to ask.

"His level of understanding of what it was like to live with a disability was just the cherry on top."

It set the standard for who she'd like to end up with back home in Australia.

Peta says there is shame associated with never having been in a serious relationship, "but I also think that's what people expect for disabled people."

Peta recently froze her eggs and says it has taken some of the pressure off.

"I came up against extreme medical ableism. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.

"I don't feel the pressure now to find someone, according to my own time schedule."

You have a great date, then nothing

Fiona, 45, Melbourne/Naarm

Fiona's clocked up 180 dates without any leading to a serious relationship.

She says the loneliness is "overwhelming".

"Suddenly you're the only one on your couch on a Saturday night, and you've got no-one to go out with, no-one's replying to your text messages because they're all partnered up.

Fiona — a rom-com fan — always assumed she'd just end up with a cinematic-like love.

"I think in my 20s all I wanted to do was have fun and I was just out and about with my girlfriends, and I put a lot of emphasis on my friendships.

"As you get older, you start to think … why isn't this happening for me?"

She even applied for the reality TV show Married at First Sight. She was short-listed and says the audition process was confronting.

"They just grilled me to tears basically about why hadn't I found anyone and what was wrong with me."

Fiona says she often faces judgement from people about being single. Or people assume it's a path she's chosen.

"You don't want to go to these parties or these dinners where you're the only single person."

But Fiona has had some positive dating experiences and doesn't understand why it hasn't worked out.

"We'd had these really good dates and you wouldn't hear from them again."

Despite this, Fiona says she's found peace with her singledom.

"I don't think many people have gone through the 10, 15 years of therapy that I've gone through, the hard questions that you ask yourself.

"You get to that place of full acceptance of who you are and love for yourself."